My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
