We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
