spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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