Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
My dick has a subreddit
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
