last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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