the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
