Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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