I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
