You were right. It hurts to walk today.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize