I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
