I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
