if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
