I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
