so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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