you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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