its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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