East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
