You really coming over, don't trick.
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
