So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
