I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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