we're blogging at a bar
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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