That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
