Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
