I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
