I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Randomize
