Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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