shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Randomize
