This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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