I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
