Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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