So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
