you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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