i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Drake has all the answers
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
