Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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