Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
