i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
