It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
is wine microwaveable?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
