is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
