shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You need a sexual gate keeper
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
