i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
FUCK WHALES
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
