I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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