i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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