You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
he's single and there are thong briefs.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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