My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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