Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
