you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
