i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
