No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
