guys are not supposed to queef...right?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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