Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
