lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
