mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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