Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
